Last year, I became fascinated with the Presidential pardoning of two lucky turkeys who would not, in fact, be executed in the name of feeding some huge family for Thanksgiving. These two fortuitous fowl (a main turkey and a back-up) would instead live out their days being adored, petted, and used as the Grand Marshals […]
10 Times I’m Glad Social Media Wasn’t Around
I have this love/hate relationship with social media, as I’m sure we all do. I LOVE seeing friends from the past having babies, posting funny things about their kids or jobs or people who annoy them, and keeping up with the lives of people whom I love but can’t see all the time. As the […]
I Was a Wedding Registry Disaster
“Do we get dessert tonight? How about some crème brulee?” My husband Jeff is nothing if not a jokester, though this is long-running inside joke has run its course. He refers, of course, to the wedding registry disaster of 2006. I have no idea what I thought marriage would be like when, at 26, engaged, […]
Targeted Marketing Fail Part 3…This Keeps Happening
Y’all, it just so happens that, on my ONE-YEAR BLOGIVERSARY (this is a thing…I’ve been writing here for a whole year now!), a little magazine was dropped into my mailbox, and the ridiculous targeted marketing people have somehow missed again. I’m not sure what they believe about my glamorous life here in Arkansas, but I’m not above […]
Top 10 Potential Ashley Madison Hackers
“Life is short. Have an affair.” The now-hacked Ashley Madison slogan seems pitifully out of place considering that 32 million people potentially searching for affairs may now be in very big trouble with their boyfriends, girlfriends, and spouses. Like all of America, I’m shocked, disgusted, and in a “train-wreck-can’t-look-away” way fascinated by computer hackers’ recent online […]
10 Things I Hope My Kids Will Say About Their Childhood
Someday my kids will grow up. Sometimes a day seems to last a month, and sometimes a month flies by like the snap of my fingers. But someday, someday, they will grow up. They will leave our house and go off to make their own lives. They’ll go to college and choose their paths. They will date […]
A Summer Halftime Speech for My Kids
Hey, kids. Huddle up. In case you haven’t noticed, with the beginning of July, summer is now halfway over. It’s time for us to have a summer halftime speech, get our butts in gear, and complete all those goals we ambitiously laid out at the end of May. In May, we were so ready […]
How SAHMotherhood Is Like Being Cinderella
Yesterday, as Cinderella was dancing across our TV screen and I was fishing a toy out from under the couch and cleaning whatever I could get while I was at it, I realized something. I’m Cinderella. I work for no pay. I’m expected to cook, clean, do laundry, and be pleasant while all that’s going on. […]
Breaking Mommish
Only a few months after I married my husband back in 2006, I peed on a stick, there was a plus sign, another plus sign, and two lines a couple of times (this was kind of a shock, so I needed lots of confirmation), and I became a mom. I had always wanted to be a […]
Bartending for Moms Everywhere…You’re Welcome
One of my favorite movies from childhood was the 1991 blockbuster hit City Slickers. You’ve probably seen it, so I won’t bore you with the plot summary, but the screenplay’s writers were definitely onto something with the Barry and Ira Shalowitz characters, a pair of adventure-seeking brothers who owned an ice cream empire and one of whom, […]