When I retrieved the mail the other day, it was the usual bills, coupons, and magazines, but one clothing magazine, which I shall call Mercury (not the magazine’s real title), mystified both my husband Jeff and me. Don’t get me wrong. Years ago, my college Visa and I had an uber-blast ordering from Vickie’s Secret’s hottie college girl […]
Carrie On Parenting: Should You Correct Other People’s Children?
To begin with, let me be the first to call myself out on the irony that I, mother of the gynecologist’s office demon kids, am complaining about this particular subject, especially when just last week I regaled readers with how horribly my own children behaved. But I am. This past Saturday, I felt the urge […]
Carrie On Parenting: A Gyno-Comedy of Errors
We all dread that yearly appointment…you know the one, ladies. So imagine my horror when I discovered that my husband Jeff, who normally is a prince about child care if I ever have an appointment, would be out of town on a business trip when I attended my first gynecological appointment in almost two years. I am normally […]
Some Assembly Required: The Doofus Guide to Trampoline Installation
In our backyard, we have what is tantamount to a crop circle. It is an 18-foot circle where the grass hasn’t yet grown back after the Wal-Mart above-ground pool fiasco of 2014 (a story for another day). I look out at that void and think two things: 1. I am SO, SO glad that the […]
Carrie On Parenting: Raise Your Glass to an Unproductive 2015
There are many metaphors for the phenomenon I’m experiencing: hamster on the wheel, attempting to climb the slippery slope, two steps forward/three steps back, etc., etc. When it comes right down to it, I’m feeling a little under-appreciated by my family, and A LOT like I might never be a productive member of society again. This has […]
Carrie On Parenting: Sippy Cups in My Wine Fridge
“MILK!!!” Sawyer, my youngest who is 19 months old, is learning to talk. He has a few favorite words: mama, no, Good Girl (his name for our dog Lexi), and milk. He yells “Milk!” approximately 88 times per day, and that is where my story begins. I have a cabinet full of sippy cups…they have multiplied, […]
Jobs I’m Now Qualified to Hold After Becoming a Mother
I have been a stay-at-home mom for exactly 18 months now. Though we miss my salary (heehee…I was a high school English teacher, so it’s not like Donald Trump has left the building or anything), Jeff and I both agree that this is the best move for our family right now and for the foreseeable […]
Carrie On Parenting: Revenge of the Wolf-Criers
I truly love the story of “the boy who cried ‘Wolf.’” It sank in to me when I was little and throwing a big fit about nothing at all, and my wise mother ingrained in me the idea of only making a fuss over things that really deserve it…because, in our family, we don’t sweat the small […]
A Story I Hope to Never Tell My Daughter (and Apologies to Andrew)
When I was in the 10th grade, I found a note in my locker. Kids, we used to have these things called pencils and pens. If we wanted to communicate with our friends, we would write a note. On a piece of notebook paper. With a pen or pencil. It was not instantaneous, and sometimes […]
Carrie On Parenting: Last Night, I Put Baby in the Corner
With apologies to Dirty Dancing fans for this (terrible) borrowing of phrase for reasons completely unrelated to Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Gray, and with apologies to the patrons of Buffalo Wild Wings in our Arkansas town last night from about 5:05-5:20pm…I humbly submit this post. So last night, we were “those” parents, and Sawyer was […]
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